I’ll start with some hedges:
· As long as I could remember, Australia was my dream trip.
· The Great Barrier Reef is the top of the depths.
· I had never stayed on a liveaboard.
· This was my first new Destination Vacation since the birth of my son twelve years ago.
· I had only had one dive in that interval, at least I think I did, some 8 years ago.
While it’s possible that the trip was objectively terrible, it is inevitable I would love it anyway. Water after a desert.
That being said, memories of The GBR fill me with the greatest joy and pride I know.
The Pride comes from Dash getting PADI certified. It’s not particularly difficult to get certified as a SCUBA diver. Children as young as ten can do it. But getting your first taste of the Ocean from beach dives in Southern California in winter is NOT easy, even for adults. Perhaps hundreds of divers take their Open Water Certification Dives of San Diego beaches each winter. I am sure PADI keeps statistics on how many fail to complete and their ages, but they don’t make those numbers available. Many take their pool instruction locally and then finish their Open Water Certification in waters warm, clear, and beautiful.
We initially booked three days and two nights on the liveaboard OceanQuest on the Great Barrier Reef. I suspected this would be a Life Highlight, even expecting little diving – the three of us “bubble chasing” because young Dash wasn’t even much of snorkeler. We love the Beach, but the Pacific is COLD. We only swim in it in August and September when the air is warm and the water approaches 70 degrees.
Finding out that Dash could get SCUBA certified and dive with us took our expectations to a whole new level. A twelve year old would get to participate in the event that would essentially complete my Bucket List. How amazing! I never daydreamed of diving the GBR with my child! Mind blowing!
Wanting the three days onboard to be free of obligatory Certification events and schedule, we decided to get Dash certified here in town ahead of the trip. We checked out the local certification shops. One training option was in-person classes concurrent with the pool instruction. This is probably the best option if your schedule allows it. The second option is PADI’s self-paced e-Learning, where you take your “book learning” interactively online, and then take two days of pool instruction upon completion of the e-Learning. Both options then require two days of open water dives. Given school, basketball practice, and our typically harried schedule, we felt the e-Learning course would work the best for us. I could also refresh my knowledge as Dash was gaining his for the first time.
House of SCUBA was nearby and had a robust website, a nice well-stocked shop, a good price and a compatible schedule. The Staff was courteous and professional. We entrusted Dash’s success to them.
PADI’s iPad based e-Learning mixed text and multimedia with online quizzes. It is well-designed and largely effective. The inter-module navigation could be improved with a map of all completed and remaining modules, but that’s a minor issue.
I thought being iPad-based would be a plus for Dash, but, frankly, he made going through the lessons an unexpected ordeal. Maybe using the iPad for something other than his beloved Youtube gaming videos was sacrilege to him, but he had no great interest in learning the content.
“Come on, Dash, this isn’t some abstract subject that may or may not help you in ten years! You’re actually going to be in the ocean, scuba diving in a few weeks!”
His reluctance to study was surprising and disappointing, but we got through it. He passed his online quizzes and tests during the e-Learning and did very well on the in-person test prior to the pool dives.
Dash’s two days of Confined Water – Pool – dives began on his 12th birthday.
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I watched and took pictures. Justin is an excellent instructor. A True Believer. 300+ dives a year. Got certified in SoCal when he was 10. Remembers what it was like to get certified while very young, so is good with the young learners as well as the adults. Ran a very good class. Fun and focused. Assisted by Chris and John. |
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The pool dives went off without a hitch and all the students passed all their skills.
The following weekend was the Open Water Dives at La Jolla Shores. Late October. Cold air cold water short days long nights. Saturday and Sunday. 7:00am crack of dawn.
Friday afternoon, Dash comes home from school exhausted and with a cough. He gets a cold once a year. Gets it today. Rule #1: don’t dive sick. Reality #1: we have a tight schedule to stick to. We’ll see how he is in the morning.
Saturday arrives. Too darn early. Dash isn’t healthy, but we’re not really sure how sick he is. Cough syrup and we’ll see.
I had never been at La Jolla Shores early on the weekends. It’s like a Zombie Apocalypse in neoprene. And drysuits (the instructors all wear dry suits). Multiple groups of new divers classes, Advanced Diver classes, specialty diver classes.
In the pool Dash wore a thick 7mm wetsuit but not a hood. Mask is adjusted for head diameter, not head+hood diameter. He hasn't practiced adjusting gear with gloves on. Old Tech isn't well suited for glove adjustments. The thick wetsuit required a lot of extra weight to cancel out it’s buoyancy. He weighs 85-lbs. His fully-weighted kit, with 25-lb of weight probably weighs 60-lb, and, of course, it’s awkward. In the pool, it wasn’t that big a deal.
We had prepped Dash that he shouldn’t set his expectations of what he could expect of diving from what he would experience at La Jolla. “It’s something to be endured. You won’t enjoy diving until later.”
Ten students, more or less, Instructor Justin and assistants John and Chris. Suiting up and getting ready takes time near the beach. Hoods must be worn. Dash’s mask strap had been adjusted to fit his head, not his head with a hood on. We haven’t practiced adjusting the mask with gloves on. This would cause problems.
There’s a bit of a walk across the beach to the ocean itself and then a wading out through the surf. It’s not easy, especially when you’re not feeling well, have had a good swig of cough syrup and your kit weighs 75% of your body mass.
The surf is substantial but not overwhelming (if you weigh more than 120-lbs and don’t have gear on). It’s cold, visibility is low (10-ft?).
Shortly into the dive, a wave knocks off Dash’s mask. It’s gone. Justin has a spare with him, of course, and adjusts it for Dash.
At this point the group is out past the breakers. They’re up and down. I can’t really see what’s going on. Apparently Dash’s fins are too big for his booties and his fins won’t stay on (this was not apparent in the pool). Justin has to spend a lot of his time fixing Dash’s fins.
| Finally checkout dive ends and the group heads in. John is helping an unsteady Dash through the breakers. Dash is staggering under the weight of the gear and waves. He’s tired and cold. |  |
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We have about an hour between dives. Dash is generally quiet around adults and is quiet now. What he’s not saying is that he’s very cold and tired. He does tell me “there is nothing about that dive that I enjoyed.” “I didn’t expect you to.” |
Shortly before the second dive, it’s clear to me that Dash is very cold (and the cough syrup is wearing off). I try to get him warmed up, but we don’t have enough time to get him warm.
I help him to the water. The group heads out. I go back to the boardwalk and then go straighten out his other gear back at the setup area.
When I return to the beach, I see two figures emerging from the waves. Justin is leading Dash back in. I go to help them. Justin is taking off Dash’s kit to let him get to shore more easily. Lots of weight belts and equipment come off and there is some ferrying back and forth to get everything out of the surf. Justin explains to me that Dash had an “event” and had to abort the dive. Dash is fine, but his day is over. Justin makes sure that Dash is okay, that his gear is together, and that I have custody of both before heading back out to Chris, John, and the students to complete their skills testing.
Dash tells me that his mask came off and then his regulator came out and his fins came off and he tried an emergency ascent to the surface. They were very shallow and Justin was very quickly with him. But it’s a fairly major safety issue. The primary kind of thing to not do and to be trained not to do.
We waited for the group to finish up.
During their de-gearing, the students were talking about what they saw. “...and I saw a crab.” Dash interjects, “For a second there, I saw St. Peter.”
We can’t continue with the group for the Sunday dives because we didn’t complete the Saturday dives. It’s just as well because Dash is not healthy.
Halfway through the week, Dash is still not healthy enough to plan to attend the following weekend’s dives. Justin and Kevin have discussed the aborted dive and “strongly recommend” one-on-one instruction, given the severity of his lack of comfort. A fair price is set; it’s now a matter of scheduling. The next available week has surf too high for a beach dive. Time is running short before the trip and we’re creeping deep into November. They mention that Mission Bay is an option, but it’s generally avoided due to poorer visibility. Poorer than the beach? I override their recommendation to wait for a good beach day, citing time constraints. They concede.
The customer is NOT always right.
In the interim, we buy a new mask to replace the 10-year old mask he lost. Mask strap fastener technology has improved in ten years. New masks are easier to adjust, even with gloves on. Rather than buy new fins, we bought thicker-soled booties; the much tighter fit with the fins will keep the fins on.
We meet Justin at Mariner’s point in Mission Bay. Dash is nervous. A Rescue Diver class are the only other divers. The bay water visibility is two or three feet. It’s black. One-on-one instruction requires a whole lot less waiting around and Dash and Justin are soon getting ready to wade into the water. I go to the car to get my camera. I see them in the water, floating. Looks like some equipment issues. Fins again? I take some pictures with the jetty in the foreground.
They seem to be heading back in. I come around to the beach, Justin has Dash’s fins and he’s helping Dash in. “He said he can't do it.” Everything was ready, and when they were about to let the air out of their BCDs to descend, Dash said “I can’t do this.” Justin asked “Are you sure?” He could see that Dash was really unable to continue and said okay and started getting them back to shore.
This is a huge blow and essentially ends the Certification efforts. This might also be Dash’s First Big Fail. So it’s a momentous emotional event.
Justin did not pressure Dash and he expressed zero disappointment to me about Dash. We both recognized that Dash really tried to go through with it, but was not able to. He was very scared and very worried.
We both expressed that it was okay to not proceed and that options were still available (all hope is not lost) without pushing.
Instructing (and learning) is easy when everything goes right. Diving is easy when everything goes right. It’s when things do not go right that skills are so important. That’s why you must be trained well to be able to consistently dive safely. Difficult students and/or difficult situations also expose the level of expertise in an instructor.
Dash was not a particularly good student in the open water. Youth, equipment problems, fatigue, an emergency ascent, and fear. Justin was prepared (carrying a spare mask), patient and capable (fixing fins), vigilant (he kept close watch on his students even in the bad visibility off La Jolla Shores). The final abort was a traumatic event for Dash, but Justin was sensitive enough to evaluate Dash’s state of mind to not push continuing the dive and to make the egress and breaking-the-news to me as calming as possible. He kept a bad situation from getting worse.
Kevin provided a fair refund on the scheduled dives that we would not be taking. He and the staff were very supportive, we didn’t feel like Big Failures.
So at this point Dash had had one successful but very uncomfortable dive, a brief dive with a “near death experience” (exaggeration, of course, but a panicked emergency ascent is rather serious and traumatic even under good conditions even for adults) and a dive where he couldn’t even bear to descend even with a whole lot riding on it. Legitimate trauma for a little kid. He cannot fathom that diving can be fun.
It only takes two days to get your cert dives done. We originally scheduled three days on the liveaboard. I decided to add another day, just so that we would have enough time to get Dash certified there at his own pace, no hurry. I figured we would need a day to get acclimated with some snorkeling. Ocean Quest was able to accommodate us with the extra day and were able to schedule us into a PADI-referral Open Water class (open water dives).
Dash was still scared and dreading the water, even though it would be clear but still cold. “No, it’ will be warm. It’s summer in Australia in December.” “Oh, wow! It’s like you planned it or something.”
Still worried. “I’m only going to do the minimum required dives.”
Leigh scheduled a trip to Fitzroy Island on our first day in Australia (Cairns). A chance to practice snorkeling. Dash had snorkeled briefly at Key Largo (10 minutes before he returned to the boat) three years ago. He did better in Elbow Cay of Lesser Abaco two years ago. He swam around with a mask, but still wasn’t comfortable with the snorkel or fins. Before the certification pool dives, we practiced with fins in the Club pool, but he couldn’t keep them on (I thought we had fixed that problem, but it did come back to haunt us in La Jolla). Fitzroy Island has some reefs, but it was really hard to get Dash to practice using the snorkel and the fins. Leigh was not hopeful after the day was done.
We did some sightseeing for the next couple of days before heading off to Cairns Marina. Ocean Quest is big three-(passenger)deck catamaran that stays on the reef. Sea Quest is the day boat. It travels to the reef at high speed and hosts a few dives before hooking up with the Ocean Quest to transfer passengers. It then returns to Cairns.
We board and are checked off on the manifest. Adam, the captain (or purser), says “Dash you are diving today.” I say “I think we’re just going to snorkel today.” “No. You’re diving.” Okay, I guess he’s diving. We’ll see how it goes (I wasn’t aware of how the operations worked and what options we had).
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Dash was really worried now. He and the other five students got a briefing from his instructor (I forget her name). He wouldn’t make eye contact with the instructor (which was making Leigh and I mad as heck). Basically he wouldn’t go. Tears. So he missed the first dive and therefore couldn’t start the class that day. |
Leigh and I did a dive together. Dash still wouldn’t budge. They offered to do a one-on-one instructory dive, no skills, easy pace. He wouldn’t do it.
Leigh decided to go on another dive. I chose to stay with Dash and try to convince him to go snorkeling. I managed to get him to the diving platform at the back of the boat to look around. I jumped in and tried to get him to come in. He wouldn’t. Then he said he would but he wouldn’t. Lots of encouragement from those around the stern. Still no.
Finally he falls in. I keep him in the water. “See how warm it is?” I get him a mask. He doesn’t want the snorkel or fins yet. There is only a slight chop. We swim along the side of the boat to a shallow reef. We swim around it. He gets comfortable with the water. He’s getting comfortable with the boat. We get the fins on him and he sees their value. He’s still not comfortable with the snorkel, but, overall, we’re okay.
After the afternoon dive we transfer to the Ocean Quest. Paolo offers Dash a one-on-one, he’s not willing.
Paolo says that they will be able to put Dash in a class tomorrow and there will be only two other students. Paolo asks me if I want to accompany Dash on these dives. I jump on that, "of course, thank you." They will put us on a dinghy to transfer to the Sea Quest when it gets to the reef in the morning.
Dash says he will try to dive tomorrow but still does not want to gear up for a one-on-one introductory dive this afternoon. I say I won’t push if he promises to try tomorrow. Having not dived in eight years, I had forgotten how calm it is 10 feet down compared to snorkeling at a wavy surface. Another snorkeling today might not be all that beneficial.
Leigh and I do another dive together. Instructor Melissa gives Dash his briefing about what to expect in the morning. He seems okay.
Leigh and I do a dive.
In the evening, Dash and I put on wetsuits and lay on the dive platform for the feeding and the sharking.
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After breakfast, we get a skiff ride over to the Sea Quest.
Dash is familiar now with the water and the ship (the dive prep areas are always crowded and hectic).
He meets the other two certification students: Luis and his new wife.
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Dash seems calm while suiting up. I tell him “once you’re ten feet down, you’ll be really comfortable. I promise you.” I am worried about the Giant Stride off the boat. It’s a three foot drop to the water. “Make sure you are oriented and comfortable before descending” |
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He jumps in fourth. He’s stable at the surface. I jump in next.
The plan is to head forward to the midship anchor line and descend down it. I follow the four and then watch from afore the anchor line as Dash descends.
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At about 10 feet he has trouble equalizing, gives clear signals ("Wait. I’m having trouble clearing. I’m going up a bit."). He successfully equalizes and continues down the rope with the rest of the group. At the bottom, they do three or four skills. Melissa does a clear demonstrative handshake when each person completes each skill. Cute little ceremony.
We then go on exploring for another twenty minutes. A beautiful dive. Clear, big canyons in the corral. A top notch dive. His golden hair waving in the current, reflecting sunlight. He's Beautiful. I’m relieved and very proud. Afterwards, Dash refuses to explicitly say “you were right” out of principle, but hints around it. “Okay, I see the appeal.” |
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An hour later, Dive Two. The first skill is a Controlled Swimming Ascent: Go down the rope to about twenty feet, pretend you’re out of air, signal, swim to the surface. Dash cannot equalize, so he can’t get down to do the skill. We waits at the surface as the other two complete that skill. Uh-oh. Melissa reassures, “We can do that skill at the end of the dive.”
So we all head down the anchor line. Twenty feet down, again Dash cannot equalize. He signals and backs up. Cannot equalize. Backs up some more.
Melissa and I are worried now. She can't split the group. If he goes all the way up, she will have to abort his dive and go to the bottom for the other two and continue theirs. Dash cannot clear his ears. He’s in pain and he is not staying at depth, he’s backing up more.
Pivotal moment.
Melissa is trying to get him to not go shallower. I have visions of another abort and the end of this whole scuba endeavor.
Finally, he gets some clearance and can descend some. Slowly, but surely, he gets to the bottom.
We do some skills I partner with Dash for the buddy-breathing skill.
All complete the skills.
We go explore. This dive is okay, nothing compared to the previous.
After we ascend, Melissa asks Dash if he’d like to attempt to go back down and complete the Controlled Swimming Ascent skill or whether he wants to do it on the next dive. He says “I’d like to try it now”. The rest of us board. A few minutes later, Dash and Melissa are on board, Dash successfully completing the skill.
He expels the not-uncommon slightly-bloody mucus plug from his nose. Somewhat alarming to him. Melissa says “oh good, that will actually make it easier to clear next time.”
This time Dash says, “that Dive did nothing for me.” But I was very relieved and so very proud that he powered through.
The Sea Quest docks with Ocean Quest and we, of course, pretend to Leigh that Dash aborted and that all was bad.
We think we have two dives left tomorrow. Melissa says “nope, 30 minutes.” Dash thought he was done for the day and he’s a bit worried about the equalizing. He’s more inconvenienced that worried. The only new wrinkle of this dive is checking off the compass skill.
Dash has no trouble equalizing. This dive has some cool high vertical walls. A very nice dive that negates any ill-effect from the previous.
Dash is done for the day, but Leigh and I do a night dive.
Dash has a “non-mandatory fun dive” in the morning where he will have to lead one half of it and the couple lead the other half. Leigh gets to go with us, and she’s very excited. First dive with Dash. Dash is worried about leading it. I tell him “Don’t worry, leading the outbound is easy. Go anywhere until 1/2 tank. Leading the return is harder because you have to find the boat.”
This was a good dive (the one with the big tree trunk in the middle of an underwater atoll). Everyone was amazed at how Dash took charge, communicated proactively and made sure he knew everyone’s air pressure. Leigh said “I was touched by seeing how delighted Melissa was by Dash’s lead"). It was one of those moments where you’re reinspired by his potential (“even with all his video game slackery, he does have potential!”).
He is done. He’s a Certified Diver.
After it all. Instructor Melissa is in the middle.
The Martin Family went alone on a dive later in the afternoon. Martin Mutineers, more like it.
| Dash was not happy with me for a variety of weak reasons. One of which was for filming with a rented camera. He gave the throat-slashing gesture with is the same as the Out Of Air scuba signal. At one pont he essentially charged me to knock the camera from my hand. Not good, especially the rapid ascent (not far, but still a stupid thing). |
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The challenge of youth is the emotions overruling limited experience (and judgment).
Leigh was asking why there were no other divers near us, even though I briefed her with the plan just prior to the dive and was following the plan.
Next dive, I paid for a guide - someone they'd be less comfortable revolting against (and so that I could focus on filming).
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Youtube link: https://youtu.be/gf6t0oneSJc
Finally Leigh and I did one final excellent dive at Canyons. Lots of Canyons, nooks, crannies, shallows.
Dash still isn't particularly comfortable talking about his struggles in SoCal. I've told him though that he should be very proud, as I am.
Courage isn't about not feeling fear. It's about feeling fear, facing it and working through it.
His experiences off La Jolla would have been very difficult for an adult. For a 12-year old, "traumatic" isn't necessarily an exaggeration. Followed by the Bay Abort, the chaos of a busy big dive boat, and a difficult descent.
He fought through a lot. Being there while he conquered his fears and achieved certification and confidence was perhaps the most profound "adventure" of my life. The fact that I got to experience this on the beautiful iconic Great Barrier Reef: icing.
That might be Parenting in a nutshell:
one of the coolest things I've ever done is a sidenote to the much greater joy of being a part of helping your kid do it.